Friday, January 30, 2015

Jonah's sparrow

If you've read Still the Song, you'll know the significance of the small sparrow on the front cover. The same sparrow also appears on the spine of the paperback. Jonah, the main character of the story, has this sparrow tattooed on his arm. It's very special to him because it signifies freedom.

My book and the journey it took me on are very special to me. I've grown up writing, but this was the first time I've done anything with my work, or shared it with more than a couple close people. I've been down a difficult road in the past five years. The stillbirth of my first child, the scary premature birth of my second child, and my near-death by blood clots experience afterwards have left me with a relentless post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety. My son's two febrile seizures within the past couple years has not helped me either. Because of these mental distresses in my life, writing has been a beautiful outlet and escape for me. It has given my mind exciting and positive things to dwell on, instead of ruminating on past horrors or entertaining unlikely what-ifs. It has given me another purpose, to share the gift of creativity. As soon as I started writing Still the Song in May of 2013, things began to change and improve. It's been a bit easier to focus on the good and not just the bad. I'm not perfect, and I still battle fear and anxiety, but I am learning to heal, hoping I will continue to get stronger with time.

For me, Jonah's sparrow signifies freedom from the fear and anxiety that holds me back from fully experiencing the joys of this life. I have so much to be thankful for and I want to enjoy these blessings instead of allowing what I've been through to spoil the present with negative thoughts and unnecessary worry. So, four weeks ago, I got the same tattoo Jonah has, to remind me to let go of these things, that I can overcome these thought processes and mindsets.  

I also wanted the sparrow to commemorate this special time in my life when I accomplished a dream I've had since childhood. I never thought I could really be an author, that people could purchase my work and read it. I never thought I could share my imagination with the world, allowing them the chance to fall in love with my characters as I have. It's pretty amazing and I will never take that for granted. 

No comments :

Post a Comment